Quotes

My Name is Martin Alladice

I walk about the town

Sometimes with my trousers up and sometimes with them down.

And when they are up they  are up

And when they are down they are down

And when they are only half way up

I got arrested!

Spike Milligan

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The grand old Duke of York

He had 10,000 men

His case comes up in Winchester assizes next Thursday

Spike Milligan

 

 

 

 

Traditional, transparent watercolour is a phrase I’ve heard used fairly often by students in my workshops. They use it to describe the technique of applying watercolour pigments with the minimum amount of opacity. In traditional, transparent watercolour, opaque passages are avoided at all costs; the addition of opaque pigment is never allowed. In short, the thinner the paint, the better.

Applying watercolour only in transparent layers can produce beautiful passages of paint; however, the technique should not be described as traditional. Quite the opposite.

The tradition and widespread use of watercolour began in the 19th century, with the English romantic landscape painters who used the medium in a variety of ways, many of them opaque. Turner often used dense, opaque passages in his watercolours and frequently added opaque pigments or gouache on top. So did Sargent and Homer and Burchfield and Hopper. Light, transparent painting was not their exclusive goal. Some of Homer’s paintings were as “heavy as a hammer”.

The tradition of transparent watercolour is a recent one. Is it possible to have a recent tradition?-  I don’t think so. You can avoid using any opaque passages or pigments in your paintings, if you like, but you won’t be part of any watercolour tradition I know about.

Christopher Schink

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Most of my watercolours use transparent pigment but I wouldn’t hesitate to use opaque white if I thought for one minute that it would improve my painting

Arnold

PERSISTENCE

 

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

 

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

 

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

 

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

 

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

 

Quote from Ray Kroc’s autobiography.

( The man who took MacDonald’s from a hamburger joint to the massive empire it is today.

 

Persistence is what makes the impossible possible, the possible likely and the likely definite – Robert hale

 

Failure is success if we learn by it. – Malcolm Forbes

Art is not to express personality, but to overcome it – T. S. Elliot

 

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it – Chinese proverb

Those who can’t laugh at themselves, leave the job to others.

 

DETERMINATION

 
We must just KBO (‘Keep Buggering On’).

Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British statesman and writer. Remark, Dec 1941. Finest Hour (M. Gilbert)

Frogs Porn

By Graham Clarke

 

Lautrec- shortarse of the arts

Earned his living painting tarts

Two foot nothing in his socks

He did it standing on a box

His girlfriend though, a decent sort

Called him Toulouse but not too short.

 

Degas with his subtle palette

Did young ladies doing ballet

He also painted home and hearth

And women sitting in the bath

But if he felt a bit more cocky

Perhaps a race horse or a jockey

 

Picasso painted ladies fair

And often painted ladies bare

But just to show he didn’t care

Put one eye here and one eye there.

 

Bonnard appeared to have the trick

Of doing pictures rather quick

I’ve a theory, just a hunch

He did them waiting for his lunch

Never attempting scenes majestic,

Preferring what we call domestic

The outside world he found depressing

So did Mrs Bonnard dressing.

 

Roalt painted in a rush

With a number 16 brush

Gloomy portraits, any size

Usually with those staring eyes

 

 

Seurat did it all with spots

And lots and lots of blinking dots

Spotty bathers by the Seine

Just the job for painting rain.

 

Gaugin’s work to be specific

At it’s best was quite specific

Lovely sets for South Pacific.

 

Giacometti spagetti, forgetti

 

Dali really makes one feel

Inclined to go surreal

Is there anything more soppy

Than clock and watches all gone floppy

He counted all his surreal cash

While twiddling his real moustache.

 

Mondrian the straight line fellow

Primarily used red and yellow

Then for something really new

Perhaps he’d do a square in blue

Did no one tell him when at school

Rulers was against the rule.

 

Modigliani we like much

For he has the common touch

While without being rather rude

He paints nice ladies in the nood.

 

What this squiggler Miro did

Could well be painted by a kid

Though never clever, smart or funny

They seem to fetch a lot of money

 

Van Gogh last but not the worst

( and some of us would put him first}

Painted landscapes flat and level

Working like the little devil

Night time cafes, old church towers

And of course that vase of flowers

Perhaps the sun and all the strain

Did something dreadful to his brain

Poor Vincent, such a lonely lad

It really makes me feel quite sad

When you think the Irises he did

Fetched more than thirty million quid.

 

Renoir painted plumpish girls

With chubby chops and lustrous curls

He could paints’em if the got’m

Also master of the bottom.

 

 

 

 

 

LEISURE

by W. H. Davies

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

 

No time to stand beneath the boughs

and stare as long as sheep and cows.

 

No time to see as woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

 

No time to see in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars like skies at night.

 

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,

And watch her feet how they can dance.

 

No time to wait until her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

 

A poor life this, if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare. 

 

But if you stood and stared  instead of relying on what you think you know, you just might become good painters !

Arnold Lowrey 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eleven bits of advice from Bill Gates (world’s richest computer nerd) to school leavers:

 

Rule 1

Life isn’t fair – get used to it

 

Rule 2

The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about it.

 

Rule 3

You won’t make a lot of money until you’ve earned it.

 

Rule 4

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

 

Rule 5

Making hamburgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents would have called that an opportunity.

 

Rule 6

If you mess up, it’s not you parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes: learn from them.

 

Rule 7

Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

 

Rule 8

Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. Some schools have abolished failing grades, and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

 

Rule 9

Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers in helping you to find yourself. Do that in your own time.

 

Rule 10

Television is NOT real life. In real life people have to leave the coffee shops and go to work.

 

Rule 11

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

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PIDDLIN’ PETE
by
Leslie Sarony

 

A famous dog once came to town
Known to his friends as Pete
His pedigree was ten yards long
His looks were hard to beat

And as he trotted down the road
’twas beautiful to see
His work at every corner
Every post and every tree

He never missed a land mark
He never missed a post
For piddling was his masterpiece
And piddling pleased him most

The city dogs stood looking on
In deep and jealous rage
To see this little country dog
The piddler of his age

They smelt his efforts one by one
They smelt him two by two
But noble Pete in high disdain
Stood still ’til they were through

Then when they’d smelt him everywhere
The praise for him ran high
But when one smelt him underneath
Pete piddled in his eye

Just then to show these city dogs
He didn’t care a damn
He strolled into the grocers shop
And piddled on the ham

He piddled on the cornflakes
He piddled on the floor
And when the grocer threw him out
He piddled up the door

Behind him all the city dogs
Debated what to do
They’d hold a piddling carnival
The hoop they’d put him through

They showed him all the piddling posts
They knew about the town
And off they set with many a wink
To wear the stranger down

But Pete was with them all the way
With vigour and with vim
A thousand piddles more or less
Were all the same to him

And on and on went noble Pete
As tireless as a windmill
And very soon those city dogs
Were piddled to a standstill

Then Pete an exhibition gave
Of all the ways to piddle
With double drips and fancy flips
And now and then a dribble

The city dogs said farewell Pete
Your piddling did defeat us
But no one ever put them wise
That Pete… he had diabetes.

 

 

Quotations

 

Art is vice, you don’t marry it legitimately, you ravish it!

Edgar Degas (1834–1917) French artist. Degas by himself (ed. R. Kendall)

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Art has to move you and design does not, unless it’s a good design for a bus.

David Hockney (1937–  ) British painter, draughtsman and printmaker. Remark, Oct 1988

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You’re not meant to understand – they’re bloody works of art.

Sonia Lawson Royal Academy Hanging Committee. The Observer, 6 June 1993

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Fine art is that in which the hand, the head, and the heart of man go together.

John Ruskin (1819–1900) British art critic and writer. The Two Paths, Lecture II

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Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Tom Stoppard (1937–  ) Czech-born British dramatist. Artist Descending a Staircase

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An amateur is an artist who supports himself with outside jobs which enable him to paint. A professional is someone whose wife works to enable him to paint.

Ben Shahn (1898–1969) US artist. Attrib.

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What is an artist? For every thousand people there’s nine hundred doing the work, ninety doing well, nine doing good, and one lucky bastard who’s the artist.

Tom Stoppard (1937–  ) Czech-born British dramatist. Travesties, I

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What is an artist? For every thousand people there’s nine hundred doing the work, ninety doing well, nine doing good, and one lucky bastard who’s the artist.

Tom Stoppard (1937–  ) Czech-born British dramatist. Travesties, I

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One of the reasons why medieval and renaissance architecture is so much better than our own is that the architects were artists. Bernini, one of the great artists of seventeenth-century Rome, was a sculptor.

Kenneth Clark (1903–83) British art historian. Civilisation

 

I marry? Oh, I could never bring myself to do it. I would have been in mortal misery all my life for fear my wife might say, ‘That’s a pretty little thing,’ after I had finished a picture.

Edgar Degas (1834–1917) French artist. Degas by himself (ed. R. Kendall)

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If Botticelli were alive today he’d be working for Vogue.

Peter Ustinov (1921–  ) British actor. The Observer, ‘Sayings of the Week’, 21 Oct 1962

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Spike Milligan

 
I have for instance among my purchases…several original Mona Lisas and all painted (according to the Signature) by the great artist Kodak.

A Dustbin of Milligan, ‘Letters to Harry Secombe’ [1]

 

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly
proclaiming –

WOW………………..What a Ride!!!”

 

  1. Dance like no one is watching,
    Live like you’ll never be hurt
    Sing like no one is listening, and
    Live life like it’s Heaven on Earth

 

 

What they call talent is nothing but the capacity for doing continuous work in the right way. (Winslow Homer)

 

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure. ”

Helen Keller

 

You need a room with no view so imagination can meet memory in the dark

~ Annie Dillard

 

A thing is what it is, only in relation to what it is not.

 

Student: My problem is painting what I see.

Whistler: Your problems will begin when you see what you paint!

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Thomas Szasz

 

If you talk to God, you are praying you; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia

 

If the dead talk to you, you are a spiritualist; if God talks to you, you are a schizophrenic.

 

There are 10 types of people in the world

Those who understand binary and those that don’t

 

Dance like no one is watching,
Live like you’ll never be hurt
Sing like no one is listening, and
Live life like it’s Heaven on Earth

 

[1]© 1994 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc. All rights reserved.